Lively FAQ's

10th Anniversary

FROM THE NO HOLDS BARRED VOICE OF CHRISTINE STELMACK:

Hi, everyone. Clients, prospects and reporters alike have asked me many questions over the years. Here are some of the highlights:

Q: Why millionaires?
(a) Chefs were already taken (just teasing, but I am a total foodie!)

If you really want to know, I've worked as an executive recruiter, placing partners within Big 4 consulting firms. These compensation packages ran high six or seven figures. Also, a temporary personnel agency I established in downtown Chicago years ago, my clients were primarily Fortune 500 companies (and our temps worked for C-level executives every day.)

So I guess you can say, why not millionaires? I'm used to top-notch.

Q. What does the numerical 4 in the 4M Club name mean?
(a) I’ve heard it all, including:

"Is this part of the 4-H Club?" (No, unless you view our millionaires as farm animals, which they most definitely are not.) "Is your matchmaking agency for (4) men only?" (No, this is a heterosexual matchmaking agency, for wealthy single men and professional single women.) "Do men need to have a net worth of 4 million dollars?" (No, they can be worth billions of dollars, 1.5 million dollars or anything in-between!)

The true answer to this question is kind of boring: I wanted to name it, "The 3M Club," for those three (3) pesky m's: Millionaire Matchmaking. However, I didn't want the scotch tape empire to sue me. SO, I settled on, "The 4M Club," honoring the four m's: Multimillionaire Matchmaking.

I wish I could claim something more exotic, like it was named after secret ancient code from Dan Brown's thriller, "The Lost Symbol," but alas, his tome came out years later!

Q: Why not single women millionaires, too?
(a) Oy Vey. Don't get me started (no, I'm not Jewish, but I love and appreciate their expressions.) The short end of it, as chef Emeril Lagasse might say is, "Hey, if you don't like the ingredients, start your own show!"

Okay, I'll be nice and try to answer succinctly. I started a matchmaking agency and wanted a niche market. My niche market is SINGLE, heterosexual multimillionaire men, who are looking for a loving, long-term partner or wife.

My informal research indicated for all the thousands of multimillionaire men out there, we're lucky to see a few multimillionaire women—Oprah and Meg Whitman are spoken for already...although I hear Martha Stewart
is available.

Q. Who is pickier, your millionaire clients or your women members?
(a) The more wealth one has, the pickier they seem to be—so I would have to say my millionaires. HOWEVER, women are a close second, aliens third and pets last (God love the little critters.)

Q. How do you know these women aren’t gold diggers?
(a) Well, in a perfect world, I'd wave my magic wand over each girl's head. If it goes, "CHA-CHING".... SHE'S OUTTA HERE. But since this is not a perfect world, I do the next best thing. As a skilled, savvy interviewer, trust me when I say, "I can spot a gold digger faster than a Cheetah can run."

Q. If your women aren’t gold diggers, why do they join?
(a) I never understood this question, since I find it more insulting to the intelligence of my millionaires, than it is to the women we accept.

The short end of it?

The women who join my agency, or those we recruit, are fabulous ladies with great lives of their own. They're not only beautiful, but they're intelligent women with high self-esteem. They would rather be at home in their Snuggies watching a great movie, than date a millionaire who doesn't complete them. They're also tired of lending money to their ex-boyfriends—I've heard all the stories and then some!

Q. All those millions, and they can’t find a woman on their own?
(a) Meow, Meow. Seriously now?

These guys are smart. Why not hire a private millionaire matchmaker, who searches, advertises, weeds out the wackos, pre-screens, interviews and does whatever it takes to present our clients with fabulous matches?

Sure beats going to bars, clubs, hanging out in chat rooms and online dating sites. My clients have better things to do with their time, like work hard (how do you think they became so rich?) and play hard…and they've earned it!

My clients' time is priceless to them.

Q. Your agency commands large fees; what's up with that?
(a) I work with GINORMOUS personalities, who lead GINORMOUS lifestyles, enjoy GINORMOUS careers, retain GINORMOUS bank accounts and have GINORMOUS expectations. Trust me, we earn it.

gi nor mous

We at the 4M Club have a little thing called "overhead" too. Clients and members don't just fall into our laps; we seek them out at great expense. Our time is precious too, and thankfully our clients agree; we take nothing for granted, and nor should they. Fees are competitive with other elite agencies, yet we offer more in the nature of PERSONAL one-on-one interaction.

In the end, my millionaires care less about the cost of a professional service, as they do about effort and results. And it's a two-way street; I need their cooperation and dedication to the process, as much as they need ours.

Q. Have your millionaires actually married anyone you matched?
(a) Oh ye of little faith. Every single client who has ever said to me, "Chris, I'm going to marry one of these ladies!".... they have. It's because they were "in it, to win it," so-to-speak. My clients who came on board with an open heart and open mind got exactly what they wanted—a warm, sexy, vibrant and loving lady to share their life. And even those more guarded manage to meet and retain special relationships. We don't force anyone to marry

Q. Why won’t you accept men or women legally separated?
(a) Isn't there enough baggage in this world, without taking on someone else's emotional baggage as well? I would never in a million years match up a client or member with someone still married, even if the person's been separated for years. They can contact me once divorce papers are final.

At the 4M Club, we insist all our men and women walk on an even playing field, when it comes to marital status. This means single-never-married, widowed or legally divorced. No exceptions.

Q. Who lies more about age, height and weight—men or women?
(a) Men lie about age and height; women lie about age and weight. Again, background checks and thorough screenings or interviews generally catch these kinds of fibs. We live in an insecure world, what can I say.

Fortunately, most men and women who turn to me are on the up-and-up...and those who aren't get a gentle slapping from me or never make the cut at all. I have to say; I'm finding more and more men these days trying to lop a few years off their age, which I find interesting. But you can't fool your little matchmaker…I always find out sooner than later.

Q. Are your millionaires' good looking, or are they ugly?
(a) Yes, I am asked this question, believe it or not. My retort is usually along the line of: "One's wealth factor doesn't create the man's genes, right? They come in all shapes and sizes, all faces, all bodies, some hot and some not."

That said, after ten years of working with Brad Pitt's and Brad Garrett's alike, I am getting particular myself these days—it makes my job easier matching a good looking man with a beautiful woman (you see, folks, my millionaires ALL INSIST on meeting women no less than "very pretty" to downright gorgeous ... and my motto is and will always be, "give the customer what they want.")

I must warn women, though "handsome is as handsome does"… in other words, my clients are exceptional men (whether they are average looking or drop dead gorgeous), and it's one very lucky lady to be matched up by us!

Q. Isn’t that kind of shallow?
(a) Welcome to MY world. Oy Vey (here I go again.)

Don't get me wrong, I love my clients and our roster of single ladies, and they keep me on my toes. BUT, I have to employ tough love when needed, or they'll be waiting for Miss or Mr. Right until they're 100-years-old.

There is no such thing as a perfect woman, any more than a perfect man. That's the hardest part of this business—although I have to say, women in general give men a second chance more often than not. When a man meets someone, however, and isn't WOWED on the first date…there won't be another. We're working on that, though—I believe in the "3-date rule."

Q. You really do have VERY attractive women—how do you find them?
(a) Ancient Chinese secret; next question.

Q. I see you have an advice blog; do clients often seek your advice?
(a) They can and they do. With all my worldly experience (okay, I'm older and wiser these days), I've been helpful to more than a few clients over the years and lots of women members, too! If I feel they need more support than I can offer, I'll refer them to Dr. Daneen Skube, psychologist to CEO's and a well-known syndicated columnist. She's also a friend and a good egg!

Q. Why don’t you have your own reality television series?
(a) Perhaps a radio gig one day, since helping others and interesting chitchat is in my blood. But a reality TV show revolving around my clients or me? Not going to happen. Ever.

Hiring a professional matchmaker (and team) is the most confidential and yet adventurous pastime my millionaires' endure—in fact, I rarely get invited to a client wedding, because they want to keep this whole millionaire matchmaking thing, "hush-hush."

I used to be hurt by that, and now I'm like...."oh, well, good job, Chris."

Q: You’re feisty, aren’t you?
(a) Yes, feisty and transparent; with a heart of gold