Q. Chris, despite my positive attitude, I wonder if I am being unrealistic thinking I may find a mate in my 50’s (marriage would be ideal.)  I am age 54 and in excellent physical shape (gym!), smart (master’s degree), extremely pretty (if you like long legged, blue-eyed blondes) and extremely witty, caring and loyal.  Would a gentleman really care to get to know me, when there are so many younger women with the same qualities?

~ Lisa in North Carolina

Dear Lisa:

While age 54 is harder to find a mate than age 34, it truly depends on your social circle or how active AND invested you are in seeking a partner.

You sound beautiful and in great shape, and I bet you look younger than a typical 54-year-old woman–probably more like age 39. This is where it gets tricky, as I’m guessing you can be picky.  If you appear much younger looking than your chronological age, you probably are not going to be attracted to an average 54-year-old man (who may end up looking like your uncle!)

If I’m entirely wrong about this, and you don’t care about age of the man or how good HE looks, then someone in his 50’s or 60’s is going to find you incredibly attractive and lucky to find you!  In an ideal world, we would all prefer a mate as close to our own age as possible. But chemistry doesn’t always work that way!

If you’re asking do most men in their 50’s desire younger women?  Well, yes and no.

My own clients, who are incredibly successful CEO bachelors, are in a class by themselves. Do they desire a woman 8 to 15 years younger?  Yes, almost always.  But the middle-aged, average Joe you meet on the street, I would say the opposite holds true.  Most older men don’t see younger women as realistic to date and generally prefer their own age.

These days you can just as easily meet a man 10+ years younger.  He may even find you to be the cats meow and appreciate a beautiful, mature and wiser lady. Fortunately, it’s not shunned anymore for an older woman to be with a younger guy – thank you, Hollywood (but make sure he’s sought you out, not the other way around 🙂

Please write back and let me know if any of this has resonated with you.



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